So Brandon and I have only been married for 17 months. Not even a year and a half. Therefore, I know nothing about really being married. Like, married for 20 years married.
However, I have learned a thing or two about Brandon within these last 17 months. Actually, I’ve probably learned more about him in the past 3 months than I learned in the rest of our relationship combined.
I have the tight quarters at the Residence Inn to thank for that knowledge.
I’ve also learned a thing or two about myself.
And since all of you are my very best friends, I thought I’d share some of my new knowledge with all of you. Perhaps some of you will even be able to relate!
What I’ve learned since being married:
1. We have very different tastes in television programs.
I like watching shows like this:
While Brandon has a different preference:
When we were dating, Brandon pretty much gave me full reign on the remote control. That ship has sailed, my friends.
Oh and FYI, there are about 5,243 different golf tournaments aired in a given year. Heck, in a given week. They NEVER END.
2. Chipotle and Life cereal are food groups in Brandon’s world …
… whereas frozen yogurt is its own food group in mine.
3. I married someone who is even more financially responsible than I am.
I’m the weirdo who likes to balance my checkbook and keep a monthly budget. So when I married Brandon, I guess I thought that I would be the money-conscious one in the relationship. But once we had to make “big boy and girl” decisions about buying and selling real estate this year, I quickly realized that I was actually the “free spirit” in the relationship!
Brandon likes to put a lot of time and thought into his decisions, particularly those involving money. He also thoroughly enjoys making spreadsheets. Lots of spreadsheets!
I had to learn that I couldn’t rush him into a decision. Instead, I had to give him my opinion on the situation and then wait until he eventually came to his own conclusion. This took some trial and error on my part … and I will probably still struggle with the “waiting game” in the future. But I’m working on it!
And this leads us to my next lesson …
4. … Brandon is much more patient than I am.
Man, I struggle with patience. It’s one of those fruits of the Spirit that I like to pretend isn’t really listed.
Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Please tell me I’m not the only one who struggles in this area??
5. Brandon likes cheesecake to just be cheesecake.
OK what am I talking about here? Quite simply, Brandon doesn’t like his food “gussied up.”
When he wants cheesecake, he just wants plain cheesecake. Maybe some strawberry topping. But that’s it.
Me, on the other hand?
I think we all know that I feel quite differently.
So I sometimes get frustrated with Brandon’s “vanilla” taste buds.
I get excited because I made pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes …
… and he turns his nose up in favor of regular pancakes.
I make peanut butter-hazelnut brownies …
… and he wants to know why they have to have peanut butter in them.
But I am proud of my husband for branching out and trying new things since we’ve been married. He even says that he’s never eaten as many vegetables in his life as he’s eaten in the last year and a half! Hurray for healthy eating habits!!
6. I take everything too personally.
A good example is what I just described in #5. He isn’t interested in the brownies because they have peanut butter in them … and that should be the end of it. But instead, I twist things in my mind and think things like …
He doesn’t like my cooking.
I’m a bad wife for not baking things he likes.
Why do I even bother trying?
Ridiculous, right? But sadly, these lies often pop into my head.
My entire life, I have had the tendency to take things personally. I struggle receiving criticism … no matter how constructive it may be. This can be a problem both in a working relationship and a marital relationship.
But I’m working on it. And that’s what marriage is about, right? Marriage is just a big spotlight pointing out our faults so that we can work on bettering ourselves.
One of my favorite lines from Gary Thomas’s book, Sacred Marriage, reads, “… what if God’s primary intent for your marriage isn’t to make you happy. . . but holy?” I think that’s such a good point that many of us often struggle with.
And the last thing I’ve learned …
7. I really did marry an incredible man.
On our first date, Brandon and I sat on the beach talking for hours. That night, I may not have known where the relationship would lead, but I did know immediately what an amazing person Brandon is. Almost three years later, I continue to praise the Lord daily for bringing Brandon into my life.
Brandon, I love you. Thank you for being a truly wonderful husband.
(Oh, and pick your socks up.)
Question for ya …
If you’re married, what is something you’ve learned about your spouse or yourself recently?
If you’re not married, what characteristics do you look for when you’re just starting to date someone?
Do you like your “cheesecake to just be cheesecake?” Or do you like your dishes “spiced up” a bit?
Whatcha doing this weekend?