What I’ve learned since being married.

So Brandon and I have only been married for 17 months.  Not even a year and a half.  Therefore, I know nothing about really being married.  Like, married for 20 years married.

wedding4

However, I have learned a thing or two about Brandon within these last 17 months.  Actually, I’ve probably learned more about him in the past 3 months than I learned in the rest of our relationship combined. 

I have the tight quarters at the Residence Inn to thank for that knowledge. Winking smile

I’ve also learned a thing or two about myself.

And since all of you are my very best friends, I thought I’d share some of my new knowledge with all of you.  Perhaps some of you will even be able to relate!

What I’ve learned since being married:

1. We have very different tastes in television programs.

I like watching shows like this:

emily bach

While Brandon has a different preference:

swamp people

(Source)

When we were dating, Brandon pretty much gave me full reign on the remote control.  That ship has sailed, my friends.

Oh and FYI, there are about 5,243 different golf tournaments aired in a given year.  Heck, in a given week.  They NEVER END. Disappointed smile

2. Chipotle and Life cereal are food groups in Brandon’s world …

chipotle

… whereas frozen yogurt is its own food group in mine. Angel

010-1500

3. I married someone who is even more financially responsible than I am.

man with graphs

(Source)

I’m the weirdo who likes to balance my checkbook and keep a monthly budget.  So when I married Brandon, I guess I thought that I would be the money-conscious one in the relationship.  But once we had to make “big boy and girl” decisions about buying and selling real estate this year, I quickly realized that I was actually the “free spirit” in the relationship!

Brandon likes to put a lot of time and thought into his decisions, particularly those involving money.  He also thoroughly enjoys making spreadsheets.  Lots of spreadsheets!

I had to learn that I couldn’t rush him into a decision.  Instead, I had to give him my opinion on the situation and then wait until he eventually came to his own conclusion.  This took some trial and error on my part … and I will probably still struggle with the “waiting game” in the future.  But I’m working on it! Winking smile

And this leads us to my next lesson …

4. … Brandon is much more patient than I am.

Man, I struggle with patience.  It’s one of those fruits of the Spirit that I like to pretend isn’t really listed. Who me?

Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

patience

(Source)

Please tell me I’m not the only one who struggles in this area??

5. Brandon likes cheesecake to just be cheesecake.

OK what am I talking about here?  Quite simply, Brandon doesn’t like his food “gussied up.” 

When he wants cheesecake, he just wants plain cheesecake.  Maybe some strawberry topping.  But that’s it.

Me, on the other hand?

003

I think we all know that I feel quite differently. Winking smile

So I sometimes get frustrated with Brandon’s “vanilla” taste buds. 

I get excited because I made pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes

pumpkin choc chip pancakes (2)

… and he turns his nose up in favor of regular pancakes.

I make peanut butter-hazelnut brownies

PB Hazelnut Brownies

… and he wants to know why they have to have peanut butter in them. Annoyed

But I am proud of my husband for branching out and trying new things since we’ve been married.  He even says that he’s never eaten as many vegetables in his life as he’s eaten in the last year and a half!  Hurray for healthy eating habits!! Smile

6. I take everything too personally.

A good example is what I just described in #5.  He isn’t interested in the brownies because they have peanut butter in them … and that should be the end of it.  But instead, I twist things in my mind and think things like …

He doesn’t like my cooking.

I’m a bad wife for not baking things he likes.

Why do I even bother trying?

Ridiculous, right?  But sadly, these lies often pop into my head.

My entire life, I have had the tendency to take things personally.  I struggle receiving criticism … no matter how constructive it may be.  This can be a problem both in a working relationship and a marital relationship.

But I’m working on it.  And that’s what marriage is about, right?  Marriage is just a big spotlight pointing out our faults so that we can work on bettering ourselves. Smile

One of my favorite lines from Gary Thomas’s book, Sacred Marriage, reads, “… what if God’s primary intent for your marriage isn’t to make you happy. . . but holy?”  I think that’s such a good point that many of us often struggle with.

And the last thing I’ve learned …

7. I really did marry an incredible man.

On our first date, Brandon and I sat on the beach talking for hours.  That night, I may not have known where the relationship would lead, but I did know immediately what an amazing person Brandon is.  Almost three years later, I continue to praise the Lord daily for bringing Brandon into my life.

vday

Brandon, I love you.  Thank you for being a truly wonderful husband.

(Oh, and pick your socks up.)

Winking smile

Question for ya …

If you’re married, what is something you’ve learned about your spouse or yourself recently?

If you’re not married, what characteristics do you look for when you’re just starting to date someone?

Do you like your “cheesecake to just be cheesecake?”  Or do you like your dishes “spiced up” a bit?

Whatcha doing this weekend?



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Posted on by notsodomesticated Posted in Married Life

62 Responses to What I’ve learned since being married.

  1. Adriana Contreras

    Does EVERY man leave their socks lying around?! That’s my BIGGEST pet peeve with Justin.
    I’m very particular, and clean, and he just doesn’t mind leaving 6 pairs of shoes laying around the dining room!!

    Cheesecake. Red Velvet=HEAVEN.

    And this weekend, I have 4 cakes to help bake and decorate, so I’ll be in the kitchen!!

    • notsodomesticated

      Haha Brandon actually doesn’t leave his socks around … that part was a joke. But he DOES leave his shoes around. I don’t know why, but there are always shoes all over the place!! ;)

      Have fun baking this weekend!! I’m jealous! ;)

  2. Amy DeBlasio

    I do believe opposites attract :)
    Gary didnt grow up until he was 30 :( He is def- in the sock club!

    • notsodomesticated

      Haha oh Gary! I love that you guys are high school sweethearts!

  3. Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance

    Such a beautiful post, Kristen! That whole thing about you twisting around Brandon’s preferences to become much bigger than they are– I do that ALL the time too! It’s sad that us women can easily fall prey to these lies, but we just need to pray for reminders to remember that they aren’t true!

    And HAHA! Will LOVES shows like River Monsters and Swamp People too!! I don’t get how he finds that stuff interesting… hahaha
    Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance recently posted..Boring LadyMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      God really did make men and women so different, didn’t He? ;)

  4. Lindsay @ The Lean Green Bean

    LOVED this post! and that swamp people picture made me crack up!!
    Lindsay @ The Lean Green Bean recently posted..Fitness Friday 21My Profile

  5. Meg

    such a cute post! it is funny that you say cereal is a food group when he is gone because my Mom had cereal when my Dad was in London with me ;)
    Meg recently posted..High Five Friday #14: School Successes!My Profile

  6. Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health

    Awwww I really want to meet Brandon! He sounds like such an amazing man. I’m sure he and Chris would get along too :) . I’m with ya on taking things too personally- I do that wayyyy too much and get upset about the stupidest things! We can keep each other in check! And while Chris doesn’t watch golf he watches basically everything else- so it NEVER ends! It’s not fair that my shows end during the summer haha. Hope you have a great Friday love <3
    Lindsay @ In Sweetness and In Health recently posted..Boston Blogger Meet Up and New Strength WorkoutMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      I wish you could meet him, too!! One of these days … I’m determined to get us all together! :)

  7. Katie @ Faith & Funfetti

    I love this! :-) I am right there with you…I married an amazing man who is SO much more patient than me. It makes you so thankful. We are very blessed girls! :-)
    Katie @ Faith & Funfetti recently posted..Beautiful Wedding and Growing Up is FunnyMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      We really are, Katie! And I hope we can still get together sometime!! :) We live too close to never meet! :)

  8. kaceyjt

    What a sweet post! And you could definitely be talking about me and my husband on most of those! Eric and I have been married for 1 and a half years this month and I’ve learned so much! Mainly, I thought that we would start out with a perfect marriage and everything would be rainbows and roses…it didn’t take long to figure out that marriage is a journey, not a destination! I love that quote Gary Thomas…sounds like a book I need to read!
    Have a good weekend!
    kaceyjt recently posted..Food For Friends: Chicken Pot PieMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Aww you guys got married right before we did! It will be a year and half for us next month. :)

  9. Jana @ Newly Wife Healthy Life

    Adorable! :-) So many of your comparisons between yourself and Brandon remind me of Tim and I! We have only been married 7 months, but we’ve definitely learned some new things about each other. My hubby is extremely picky about laundry, which I did not know, and sometimes he will do a whole load with one outfit in the morning before work. It drives me crazy because I stuff the washer to the brim (probably not a good idea either!), but if that is the worst thing he does, I am doing pretty well!
    Jana @ Newly Wife Healthy Life recently posted..Lucky to Know HerMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Hahaha I stuff my washer to the brim, too. ;) I don’t like wasting water/electricity!

  10. Theresa

    haha, what a great post, i really enjoyed this! :)

    i was engaged before in a very long relationship and when I ended it, I knew exactly what I DIDNT want in a man…and i’m glad I’ve found what I didnt even realize what I was looking for in Kevin..someone who is weird and silly like me, who is compassionate and genuinely cares about people, and maybe a little bit of a free spirit like I am. Me and Kev are really similar and really different in a lot of ways, I like how we balance each other out. (we are BOTH libras after all)

    oh my gosh, i ALWAYS need my dishes spiced up a little, i’m the queen of combinations..lol. kevin is the same way as I am in that aspect, so I’d totally be miffed if he commented on the PB in brownies…that part especially made me giggle.

    have a great weekend girl!!
    Theresa recently posted..Compression socks and Date night!My Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Aww I love reading about you and Kevin! I’m so glad that you found such a great match, Theresa!! :)

  11. Lauren

    This year I am going to be celebrating 5 years of marriage and 10 years together. Time flies by but I have to agree that as time goes on you continue to learn about your spouse and see why they are so wonderful. I get the opposite at my house “why isn’t there more peanut butter in this?” LOL

    • notsodomesticated

      Haha tell your husband I’ll send him some of the brownies, since Brandon doesn’t like them! ;)

      • Lauren

        That would be great, however, then I would never to be able to make brownies or cookies again without the “see you could add more peanut butter” comment :-)

  12. Ashley @ My Food 'N' Fitness Diaries

    such a sweet post!! and gosh, i can totally relate to almost all of these. the one about him not liking his food all gussied up made me laugh. cody is the SAME way. i’ve tried so many times to make him a special dessert when all he wants is good ol’ chocolate chip cookies. no nuts or anything else added, JUST chocolate chips. haha. oh, and patience is certainly not my strong point either… ;)
    Ashley @ My Food ‘N’ Fitness Diaries recently posted..The Perfect Overnight Oats ComboMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      I SO hope that we can meet one day. If we lived in the same place, I’m pretty sure we’d be BFF’s haha! ;)

  13. Laurie @ Love, Laugh, Laurie

    I love this post — you two are absolutely adorable and it reminds me again of how much I have in common with you! Frozen yogurt IS a food group and the most important one; impatience is my biggest flaw that I NEED to work on; and I always think those same things when James questions what I cook and it’s just because he likes things simple! Congrats on 17 months and here’s to another 17 x 100 more to come (which is 141 years by the way :) )
    Laurie @ Love, Laugh, Laurie recently posted..Quick Treadmill IntervalMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Aww thank you for sharing, Laurie! Sounds like you and your husband are very similar to me and Brandon!

  14. Cinnamon @ eatpraytri

    OH MAN I love this post!!! Being newly married myself I have a lot of these insights as well. And I can relate to almost all of it, especially the patience part. I have none, never have and know it is an area that I really need to work in trusting God with b/c I have such a problem with it. Also with the taking things to personally. You guys are so super cute and Brandon seems like an amazing guy! :)
    Cinnamon @ eatpraytri recently posted..What I Ate Wednesday- round 3 (and a new link up idea?)My Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Thanks for sharing, Cinnamon! I think most of us women struggle in the patience area. I don’t know why the Lord decided to give all the patience to the men and none to us ladies. ;) But I suppose He knows best! ;)

  15. Michelle @ Nice Lil Saturday

    I love this post! Mostly because I can relate to it so much w/my hubby :) Although I’ve found that he is actually into reality TV if I make it a weekly viewing adventure complete with my own commentary. Recently we have been getting into Celebrity Apprentice and we both admitted to one another that we love Clay Aiken…I never thought in a million years that would come out of his mouth (if he saw that I was posting this online he would be a very angry clay-mate…) ;-)
    Michelle @ Nice Lil Saturday recently posted..High Five for Friday!My Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Hahah Michelle as soon as I read that part about Clay Aiken, I thought, “Ooh I bet her hubby wouldn’t be too pleased that she’s sharing that information” haha!! ;) Too funny!

  16. Melody

    Dustin would be all over the peanut butter brownies…he is going through peanut butter withdrawl here in Europe. We’ve been here for 2 1/2 weeks and almost no peanut butter. They all eat Nutella, AKA Sugar butter. The jar we saw in the store was 5 EUR for not even half of our size jar. Crazy! Hope you are doing well in Atlanta!

    • notsodomesticated

      Oh my goodness, how is Europe?? I hope you guys are having a blast!! We can’t wait for our Europe trip! :)

  17. Melody

    It has been awesome! I’ve been blogging if you want to read… Dustinandmelody.com I need to catch up the last two days but it’s almost midnight here so that will have to wait .:)

    • notsodomesticated

      Oh I will definitely go read it right now!

  18. Cheri

    I laugh, ’til I cried (tears of joy). You both are right on course to a beautiful story from beginning to end, no matter what happens in between :-) Love you

  19. natalie @ southern fit foodie

    I love love love this post! Even though Daniel and I will be celebrating our five year wedding anniversary in October (and TEN years together total in December), it still feels like we are newlyweds haha. Daniel usually has more patience than I do, but then sometimes he stresses and I’m laid back (especially over finances lol). We watch swamp people…I don’t mind an episode every now and then, but he likes to watch ALL those shows (or the news – blah). Thank goodness the Lord put us with husbands that balance us out – I always tell Daniel that he compliments my craziness with his chill style. :)

    Brandon is a lucky guy to have such a wonderful wife like you!
    natalie @ southern fit foodie recently posted..Friday FavoritesMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Aww thank you my friend!!! :)

  20. amy @ fearless homemaker

    such a fun post! even though i knew my husband for 4 years before we got married, i’ve learned so much more about him in the last 12 months since we got married. almost all good things, too. =) hope you have a fab weekend, friend!
    amy @ fearless homemaker recently posted..biscoff rice krispie treatsMy Profile

  21. Amber @ Bring In-The-Pink

    I’m a new reader and love this post! I can totally relate to the differences – our husbands should be friends! :) Also love the quote from Sacred Marriage – what a great book!
    Amber @ Bring In-The-Pink recently posted..Sun TeaMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Thanks so much for commenting, Amber!! And yes, Sacred Marriage is an incredible book!!

  22. Baking Serendipity

    Love this! And I definitely hear ya on the tv show clashes :) My husband can’t stand to be in the same room when the Bachelorette is on!
    Baking Serendipity recently posted..Homemade Whole Wheat BagelsMy Profile

  23. Kailey

    haha i love love love this post. Seems like you learned a lot. I’ve come to find though that boys like it simple. My good guy friend always turns up his nose at the “fun” pancakes at IHOP and just goes for plain old buttermilk…

    • notsodomesticated

      Thanks for commenting, Kailey! It definitely sounds like my guy isn’t the only one who likes things plain! ;)

  24. Avery @ YoungAspirations

    This is so great! I swear you speak my language.. so much of this reminds me of me and my fiance! I’m super sensitive also :( Gotta work on that. And definitely understand the struggle with patience! Recently I memorized Colossians 3:12-14.. it’s been SO SO good if Dustin and I are ever in conflict or I’m annoyed or angry about something. Definitely easier said than done, but the Lord has already used that verse in big ways! :) (It says — “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”)

    • notsodomesticated

      Love this!! I’ve read the verse before, but I think I need to memorize it! Thank you for sharing, Avery!

  25. Alyssa (pb and oatmeal)

    I love this post!I have a lot of opposites with my boyfriend too and it sometimes makes me feel negative thoughts about myself, but I quickly get over it once I realize how much he really loves me!
    Alyssa (pb and oatmeal) recently posted..What Makes Food Food?My Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Aww that’s so sweet Alyssa! Sounds like you guys are a good match! :)

  26. Amber with Slim Pickin's Kitchen

    The hubs and I are the complete opposite of one another, and when I say that…I *MEAN* it. He is quiet, humble, and reserved and I am a full-blooded southern drama queen who has never met a stranger in my life. He is financially responsible and can save nearly every penny he makes, and if I have $1 in my pocket I head straight to the dollar store. When it comes to patience, he has *tons* of it, and I have absolutely ZERO, ZIP, NADA, ZILCH. He can suck on a piece of candy for hours it seems, and I can’t even dream of doing that. It takes too long for me. It’s in my mouth one second and down my throat the next. He is my “diamond in the rough” as I like to call him. We’ve been together 5 1/2 yrs, and I feel that over the course of those yrs God has slowly & expertly revealed all of his amazing qualities to me. God showed me a very special part of my man this past week. On Mother’s Day, we found out that we are expecting!!! It was a huge surprise, and Will couldn’t have taken it any better. He has been amazing, and has been supportive and sympathetic to my needs. I feel so blessed to have him (and our new baby) in our life! <3
    Amber with Slim Pickin’s Kitchen recently posted..The Hogwarts ExpressMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Amber congratulations!!! That is so exciting!! :) :):):)

  27. janae@hungryrunnergirl

    You two are beyond gorgeous together:) it makes me happy! Billy is the financially responsible one too! I love both of your food groups! I will come watch tv with you and our husbands can watch tv together!

    • notsodomesticated

      Sounds like a good deal to me!! :) Love ya, girl!

  28. Megan @ Megan's Munchies

    I love when food/cake is spiced up or just a little different
    Megan @ Megan’s Munchies recently posted..Food Truck FunMy Profile

  29. Carrie@Lift Eat Repeat

    So I’m not newly marrie, but I can say that opposites attract for sure. The hubby is a spender and I’m a saver, he loves every kind of music besides country, which is my favorite, I’m messy, he is clean (I especially hate laundry) I love watching sports, he hates it (wierd right?) and so on! Ha we agree a lot of times on tv shows but sometimes not so much on movies (like getting him to see the vow was hard!) One great thing is he isn’t a picky eater at all-he would love those brownies!

    I hope you had a wonderful weekend girl!
    Carrie@Lift Eat Repeat recently posted..Burger Recipe and Need Your Opinion!My Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Haha I love it, Carrie!! I guess that old saying definitely is true!! ;)

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  31. Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy

    Brandon sounds very much like my fiance, Jordan! I’ll be interested to see how much our relationship changes once we’re married. He gives me full reign over the remote control, and we only plan on having one TV when we’re married, so that should be interesting, haha.
    Emily @ Perfection Isn’t Happy recently posted..A Michigan Bridal ShowerMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Hahaha keep my updated, Emily! ;) Now I will say that I’m partially teasing … he does give me control of the remote of a fairly regular basis. But he seriously used to let me have control ALL the time. So I guess it’s only fair that I let him have it a little more often now!! ;)

  32. Carley

    This hits home!! Crazy how God made men and women so different yet in marriage complimentary!!

    • notsodomesticated

      So true, Carley!!

  33. Theresa albanese

    Hey! I read your article out loud to my husband while he was driving us in the car and we both laughed at how we are very similar to you guys, even the cheesecake part, but also appreciated your wisdom, Congrats on your new house, and I have to add I am a big fan of Menchies Frozen yogurt too!!
    Theresa

    • notsodomesticated

      Hey Theresa! Thanks so much for commenting! I love hearing how other couples are similar to us! Makes us feel normal haha! ;) Have a great evening!!

  34. Pingback: Bringing Chipotle into my home kitchen. | Confessions of a (Not-So) Domesticated Newlywed

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