Making a Great Marriage.

Hey friends! Smile

How was everyone’s weekend?

I had a very nice one.  As I mentioned on Friday, I helped throw a baby shower for my friend, Leigh.  It was so fun getting to see friends and celebrate this new and exciting stage of life for Leigh!

leigh's shower

But today’s post isn’t about babies (shocking, I know.).  Today, I wanted to focus on a different topic.  Marriage.

I’ve already shared numerous times that I’m part of a women’s mentoring group.  Our mentor, Regina, has been married for 42 years to a wonderful man.  They are a very special couple.  They love the Lord very much, and they love pouring their lives into other people.

As part of the mentoring experience, we focused one month of our studies on the subject of marriage.  We read an incredible book called The Meaning of Marriage.

marriage book

And when we met at the end of the month as a group, Regina was kind enough to share some of her “keys” to making a great marriage.  These are things that she’s learned throughout her 42 years of marriage.  I respect Regina so much, so any advice she gives makes me want to sit up and listen!

I thought I’d share her keys with you all today.  Great advice isn’t meant to be kept to ourselves … it’s meant to be shared so others can benefit, as well!

Regina’s Keys to Making a Great Marriage

1. God has to be our first love.

2. Love is a choice.

3. Words matter.

(She said that words can be a blessing or a curse, so choose them carefully.)

4. I don’t always have to get my way.

5. My focus needs to be on loving my husband, not changing him.

(Trust God to change what He wants changed.)

6. Life is found when it is given away.

(Serve together in ministry.  Invest in other people’s lives.)

7. Sex is a big deal.

(Don’t ignore that part of your marriage.)

8. When I keep score, I always lose.

9. It is better to be reconciled than to feel “right.”

(Don’t go to bed angry.  Try to resolve, or at least start to resolve, issues before going to bed.)

10. Love covers a multitude of sin.

(We love because we are loved by Christ.)

Practical things Regina and her husband do to keep their marriage strong:

1. Pray together.

2. Frequent dates – a time to communicate with each other.

3. Do ministry together.

4. Annual planning session – ideal if you can make it a romantic getaway also.

(Time to pray together, to determine priorities for the family)

5. Understand our spouse’s personality and love language.

(How does he need to be loved?  How is he wired?)

6. Make our marriage a priority with our children.  It’s important for the children to see you are united.

(Everything can’t revolve around the kids.  Your marriage also needs to be a priority.)

Well I hope those ideas are a blessing to some of you, as they were to me. Smile

Have a great week, everyone!

Question for ya …

What did you do this weekend?

If you’re married, what advice has been helpful to you in your marriage?  What advice would you share with others?



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Posted on by notsodomesticated Posted in Friends, Married Life

14 Responses to Making a Great Marriage.

  1. amy deblasio

    What a great post!! Congrats Regina on 42 yrs of marriage!!
    Gary and I have been happily married for 11yrs Our marriage strengths are full of compromise and we make a great team. We support each other 100% We do everything together as a family. I still fit in my girl time and he golfs on his time. When he travels for work we still tell each other I love you Good Night those times away makes for 2 silly monkeys sleeping in our bed! Brooklyn and Myas favorite time to wear there dads shirts as nightgowns to bed. (Just wait Kristen) We pray together as a family and God will always be first place in our family he is our rock strength and foundation
    A family that prays together Stays together!

    • notsodomesticated

      Thank you for sharing, Amy!!

  2. Jana @ Happy Wife Healthy Life

    Loved this post! I agree with so many of the points Regina made. I 100% think that the more you include God in your marriage and keep him at the center of your family life, the better off you will be. Marriage is tough and full of compromise, but with the right perspective it can be one of the absolute biggest blessings in our lives! Thanks for sharing girl! :)
    Jana @ Happy Wife Healthy Life recently posted..Cutest ModelMy Profile

  3. Amy@ahealthyandhappyheart

    This post came at the perfect time for me… our marriage has taken a hit lately (for various reasons) and we are both eager to get back on track. Thanks for posting these words of encouragement…can’t wait to share with my hubby tonight!

    • notsodomesticated

      Hey Amy! I’m so glad that this post was helpful to you. That was my goal in sharing it. It’s normal for any marriage to have its rocky seasons, but I hope some of Regina’s tips can help bring you to a more positive place! :)

  4. Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries

    Love this! Thanks so much for sharing what you’ve learned. Question re: one of the points… When you say “serve together in ministry”, do you mean serve in the SAME ministry? For example, Cody and I would BOTH serve in our youth group? Or just both serve, but possibly in different areas? Just curious.

    One of the many things I’ve learned and has helped in our marriage is learning and practicing one anothers love languages. I think it’s helped our marriage and relationship SO much!
    Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries recently posted..A Much Needed Weekend with My Little FamilyMy Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Great question! I think she really means both. If you feel led to serve in different areas of your church, by all means, do that. But there are other opportunities to serve along side each other … community outreach, mission trips, etc. I know we plan to do these things as a family when our children get older, and I’m sure you plan to, as well! I think it’s important for our children’s spiritual development!

  5. Cinnamon @ eatpraytri

    Love this post and it is all so true! Marriage is such an amazing blessing provided by God and so many people treat it as a throwaway if its not working for them at the current moment. It takes work and dedication and there is a reason for it all. Love it. Thanks for posting.
    Cinnamon @ eatpraytri recently posted..DreamMy Profile

  6. Ali

    I love this post!! All of them seem so spot on even though sometimes it’s hard to remember certain stuff!

  7. Jenn

    great post! We are currently in a “newly married” bible study and reading through Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. It is so good, encourage you to read it sometime. There are so many tips and things you can do to make your marriage great, but so far I would say that loving my husband means loving him in a way HE wants to me loved rather than my own love language. I’m convicted that I would rather serve (by a checklist) than take time and just BE with him. Thanks again for this post, I might just bring it to my group!

    • notsodomesticated

      Great thought, Jenn. Often men seem to desire “shoulder to shoulder” time, which may just mean hanging out watching TV together. Sometimes we need to put the laundry/dishes down and just “BE” with them! :)

  8. Stacy

    What a great post! All important things to remember when making your marriage work. Thanks for sharing!
    Stacy recently posted..Our 2 Year Wedding Anniversary!My Profile

    • notsodomesticated

      Congrats on your two year wedding anniversary! :)

  9. Kathy

    I love Tim Keller books! I have read that one yet, but I’m sure it’s good. And I agree with all of these – great reminders!
    Kathy recently posted..Free Day Fun.My Profile

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